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Ephesians 5:22-6:9



Women, how fully committed are you to be to the Lord?


Given this, how committed are you to be to your husband?



So, given this verse, do y’all think it ever acceptable to go against your husband? 



When/if he leads you away from the Lord. 

So Paul here is saying that you are a believer- already submitted to the Lord now be submissive to your husband; for just as Jesus is your leader your husband is as well. 


Now given all that we just said, how do you submit in everything to your husband?

Here Paul says that in the spiritual matters the wife is to defer to her husband because He is head of her; as Jesus is the Church. The Church may not like/agree with how the Christ is leading her but we trust His steady hand and loving eye to lead us through the storm because our hope is in Him. 

In a likewise manner, perhaps you are in a season of spiritual drought; here you are to trust in God’s hand working through your husband to lead you through. 

Now, look at this verse, our translator could have just as easily said “Now as the church submits to Jesus in everything, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” 

So, why does the Church submit to God in everything? 

Because we know God is sovereign over all and uses all for our growth. 

I encourage every single one of you to dive deep into the scripture and find out all the word has to say on God’s sovereignty before you wed. Because what you believe about God’s sovereignty will determine how you react to tragedy and triumph in marriage. You must be ready for both; the sooner you’re ready the better. Will you crumble under the pressure of impure sons or puff up at the piety of your daughter? Your react to these things will affect your relationship with God and, by default, your marriage. I suggest beginning at the question: How sovereign is God? And keep consistent with that answer throughout your study. 


What are yalls thoughts on dating/romantically pursuing heathen?

    -How can we be unified with someone who isn’t even unified with our Lord?

Tell me what appeal does an unbeliever have to the believer? Why would you submit to someone who is unsubmissive to God? If he’s unsubmissive to God do you really think He’ll be able to love you as Jesus loves Church?



How much are husbands to love their wives’?

As much as Jesus loved His Church. 

How much did Jesus love His church?

Even to lay down His life for her out of love. In this verse its “loved”; past tense, so Paul is showing you an event in the past that best shows Jesus\’ love to the church-which is obviously the cross. 

Gentleman, tell me how we could love our wives this much? 

notice this verse says “loved the church AND gave Himself up for her” 

We covered this last week, but in brief, to give up IE to relinquish all rights to self to give away to someone else is an act of love. If we have any hope of loving our wives, IE our closest neighbor, we are to give ourselves up to serve her. You’re to love her with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Jesus has for His church. Jesus gave all He had to her; as we shall too. 


What is the point, the end, of our love toward our wives? 

We love her to make her holy. 

Brief aside: Who are the happiest Christians in the world right now?

The Church in Syria and China. Why do y’all think that is?

Because they are (some of) the holiest of God’s children. 

So if the happiest Christians are the holiest Christians then how do we attain holiness?

Be with God. You will be your happiest with God; for our hearts are restless till they find you as Augustine said. I submit to you they aren’t even happy till they find Him. Pleased by sin; sin. But not happy. 

Now, that said, gentleman, how are we to lead our wives to holiness? 

Bring them to God. Often we have a misunderstanding in the church that we only start a family when we have kids. This is simply wrong. the family begins when the couple says “I do”. It is then that you have the responsibility to lead your family to God. 

And how do we do that? How should we lead our family to God?

Simply. Gathering together to read the word and prayer. 

I don’t care how smart or knowledgeable you are on the bible/theology/etc. You are called to lead by the Spirit that is within you. Not by your own fleshly strength. 

I do however encourage godly discussions regularly or randomly happen in the family. and I encourage humility in those discussions when they do arise. 


I want this study to focus on marriage mostly, so for this verse; whats revenant is that Christ is making us in practice what we are in position. IE He is manifesting His own holiness and righteousness through us so that we might be holy/ without blemish. 


Paul keeps the metaphor going in 28. What is one of the main traits of marriage according to Paul here?

the unity of the marriage: She is a part of you as your own body is a part of you. Chapter 4 taught us on the unity of Christ and the Church now we’re seeing that shown in the unity between husband and wife. 

What are some things that help to cultivate unity in the church? 

Ephesians 4:1-3. Paul lists humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, eager/desiring to maintain unity. 

Y’all want to take a guess at some things that help to cultivate unity in marriage? 

humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, eager/desiring to maintain unity. 

and 29 states that we nourish and cherishes our bodies as Jesus nourishes and cherishes us/Church. 

We talked last week about how to become tenderhearted; I want ret-con that discussion a bit and add this verse to it. I encourage y’all to go home and consider what it means for Christ, Lord, and Savior, to cherish you oh wretched man. Moreover, if you are, to sum up your duties as a husband I’d say this covers it. You are to provide her warm and tender affection and comfort and security. 


When He cares for you He is also caring for Himself. Likewise with your wife gentleman. All the sacrifices you make for her will be returned to you. To quote one great man, “whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it. But whoever wishes to lose their life shall save it.” 


Pop quiz: What’s Paul quoting here?

Genesis 2:24. 

Why does he quote it tho?

Paul reinforces the divine plan for marriage that God instituted at creation, emphasizing it permanence and unity. 


How permeant is the relationship between Christ and His Church?

Forever permeant.  

(If I could pass off one of my doctrines to you its “Perseverance of the Saints”; basically making that the faith of the Saints is preserved by God in all things and the persevere to the end. God started your salvation He will complete it. It is verses, and symbols, like these that make me wish out of all my doctrines of grace I could pass to you it\’s this one. Because PotS is bore out in marriage; no retreats, no reserves, no regrets for either party.)

Y’all ready for a detour? Turn to 1 Peter 3

Out of the gate, what parallels do y’all see between 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5?

wives be submissive. 

husbands honor wives. 

Let\’s keep looking at what Peter has to say on marriage



So who is Peter’s audience? 

Wives with heathen husbands. 

So does peter say its ok to marry heathen? 

No. He clearly is writing to wives who came to the faith post-wedding while their husbands haven’t yet. 


Now, what are the 2 things Peter wants their unbelieving husbands to come to faith through? 

Respectful and pure conduct toward their husbands. In fact, there to be so well-conducting of themselves that she won’t even need to speak a word to him. 

What is the main focus of this kind of marriage? 

To bring the husband to faith. 

And why would that be her goal at all?

Because she loves him of course. 


Notice that Peter doesn’t say, “don’t adorn yourself” but instead he says what?

Adorn yourself be the hidden person of the heart/inner man; with the imperishable beauty of gentle and quiet spirit. 

So how does a wife adorn the inner man?

Hoping in God. 

Tell me what Sarah obeyed Abraham in?

His leading the family and look, God’s promise is fulfilled. As God said, I will make you a father of many nations. And Peter writes you are her children. You are the fulfillment of the promise made to Abraham long ago. 

Notice the end of 3:6 in Peter’s call for wives to be fearless. What is the wife’ motive for fearlessness?

Hope in God. 

What\’s it mean to hope in God?

To trust Him for His future provision. As God did indeed do throughout Ab’s and Sarah’s story. God promised Ab that he would father many nations and he did; God promised that Sara would be protected by Him and she was safe in God’s hands regardless of Ab’s lying. Our hope in God is based on the past fulfillment of God’s promises; IE if we know He worked in the past we know He can and will work similarly in our lives. 


So in what “likewise” manner are husbands suppose to honor their wives? 

Likewise: We serve her too. Just differently; its the husband\’s duty to submit to the loving day of being sensitive to the needs, fear, and feelings of his wife. IE the Christian husband is to subordinate his needs to hers. Peter mentions chivalry and companionship. 

What’s “weaker vessel” mean? 

Literally, she’s weaker and in need of protection, provision and strength from her husband. You standard atheist will point to this verse as a defense of his low IQ position on religion. But take notice of the word “vessel”; her purpose is ultimately for God, not you. You are to care for that vessel that has been entrusted to you by God; particularly given that she is your co-heir to eternal life as well the grace of marriage itself.

So, here\’s a curious phrase by Peter, how would our prayers be hindered?

A lack of love, fellowship with her. Our prayers are hindered when we are not mindful of her needs and fellowship. 

Quick aside: When I say fellowship, what do y’all think that means?

Fellowship, biblically speaking, is believer coming together and speaking of or on Christ or His word. It\’s not just “hanging out” together. 

Ephesians 6:1-4

“in the Lord” Does this mean that if my parents aren’t saved that I don’t have to obey them?

No, We are to be obedient to them because God placed them over us; regardless if they’re saved or not. If the child is “in Christ” then they are still to fulfill that commandment. 

That said, how does one honor their parents?

In our actions, as verse 1 says and in our attitude toward them; as if we were obeying the Lord Himself. 


So what is the purpose of fatherhood/motherhood?

To raise up the next generation in righteousness. 

Hebrews 12:6-11

I wanted to point out this passage because I think it shows Paul’s point in Ephesians 6:4 so well.

Look at 12:11, what is the main point of discipline?

To produce righteousness. 

Gentleman, we are to be God to our children until they can grasp God for themselves. Do not spear the rod, yet not provoke them to anger and whatever you are to do do it out of love for your God and family. 

Provide, protect and pray for your family for this is your duty and duty is the essence of our manhood.

I encourage y’all to dig into this passage on your own time because we don’t have the time to do so here. 


So whats a bondservant?

Literally a slave. Please note, when an American reads things like this we quickly think racial slavery because of our history but the greeks and Romans really knew no such thing. If one were to fall into an unpayable debt he and his family would become a slave to his debtor to pay it off. Again, your low IQ atheists will point to verses like these and claim the bible endorses slavery. By no means is this an accurate rendering of the text. Paul is a man of his time dealing with the issues of his time; he is most concerned with what John MacArthur rightly calls “Spirit-filled relationships”. He is merely barring out what it means to “love your neighbor” in his time. 

[Moreover, as another quick aside, you put far too much stock in man and the future if you think we could never/wouldn’t go back to slavery of some kind. The next time around it will most likely be debt slavery like we see here; not racially based as it was before. And texts like these will help to keep our humanity should we revert back to such a thing. No doubt should the society go back into such a thing our knowledge of the bible will aid in the stabilization of the culture and help to further advance the gospel even in such times. (Its this possibly in mind aha helps keep me going so hard for our studies. But my insanity/vision of the future is another matter for another time).]

More historical context for this verse is important:

Take a guess at what the age of consent was for a roman slave.

5 years old.

Take a guess at the age of consent for a non-roman citizen.

0, they had no rights whatsoever. 

These things are important to keep in mind when studying texts as such.


Given these verses, what should our work ethic be like?

We work for The Lord, not man in all we do. 

Have y’all ever thought about how your work/job is an act of worship to God? Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “…or whatever you do do it for the glory of God.” 

Anything we do is to be honoring God. 

“…doing the will of God from the heart” how are we supposed to do this? IE what is the key to a “Spirit-filled relationship”?

4:18 “be filled with the Spirit” We can’t love our neighbor without the aid of the Lord in our day to day lives. Our love for them is to be an overfill of the love of God in our lives. 

And that\’s the main point to this whole study really-to be full of the Spirit IE to continually hunger for God in our lives and to see Him working through us always.  


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Questions: “Therefore” if you could summarize Romans thus far in a sentence or two what would you say? Why is there no condemnation for those in Christ? Is there condemnation for those outside Christ?

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